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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 25, 2024 12:43:17 GMT
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Post by kate on Nov 25, 2024 15:01:11 GMT
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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 25, 2024 20:11:58 GMT
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Post by Bipolar on Nov 26, 2024 12:37:01 GMT
I was on my motorcycle and I got pulled over by the cops recently on a big ride day and he questioned how long since I had taken a break. I said it had been since my last fuel stop, which was about 3 hours ago. He reminded me that I should be taking a break from riding at least every two hours. I told him I didnt have time for that nonsense as I was in a hurry to get to my destination. He wrote me a ticket for resisting a rest.
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Post by Bipolar on Nov 26, 2024 13:00:21 GMT
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Post by Bipolar on Nov 26, 2024 13:36:05 GMT
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Post by davem399 on Nov 26, 2024 18:46:51 GMT
My old boss used to call me "The computer".
Nothing to do with intelligence, if left unattended for 15 minutes, I would fall asleep.
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Post by andy on Nov 26, 2024 20:28:04 GMT
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Post by MJB on Nov 26, 2024 21:38:56 GMT
My old boss used to call me "The computer". Nothing to do with intelligence, if left unattended for 15 minutes, I would fall asleep. Did they punch the information into you? |
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Post by dreampolice on Nov 26, 2024 22:06:58 GMT
My old boss used to call me "The computer". Nothing to do with intelligence, if left unattended for 15 minutes, I would fall asleep. Did they punch the information into you? And then continually reboot you. |
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Post by andy on Nov 26, 2024 22:29:21 GMT
Did they punch the information into you? And then continually reboot you. Or stick their 3 and a half inch floppies in you. |
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Post by lesleysm2 on Nov 27, 2024 0:42:31 GMT
A Catholic priest and a rabbi are on a flight together
At some point the priest asks "Is it true you still don't eat pork?"
And the rabbi says "Yes we are still forbidden from eating pork"
"Have you ever eaten pork?"
"I confess once I gave into temptation and ate a bacon sandwich. Tell me are you priests still required to be celibate?"
"Yes we are forbidden sins of the flesh"
"And you've never given in?"
"I confess once I gave in and had sex with a woman"
"Beats the Hell out of a bacon sandwich doesn't it?"
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Post by andy on Nov 27, 2024 12:50:10 GMT
'...A Lawyer representing a wealthy art dealer called him and said,
"Saul, I have some good and some bad news for you."
The art dealer replied,
"I've had a terrible day. Give me the good news first."
"Well", says the Lawyer. "I met with your wife yesterday and she told me she had purchased two pictures for £5,000, but she thinks they might be worth 5-10 MILLION!'
"Fantastic woman, my wife, and a very smart businesswoman too" says the art dealer.
"What's the bad news?"
The Lawyer replied,
"The pictures are of you banging your secretary."
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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 27, 2024 13:48:55 GMT
I saw a guy stacking shelves at Tesco complaining because the top shelf was broken,
and he couldn't keep it up. I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction
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Post by andy on Nov 27, 2024 18:14:28 GMT
I've only gone and taken my cats tablets instead of my own.
Don't ask meow.
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