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Post by andy on Nov 12, 2024 21:59:31 GMT
Our WiFi stopped working last night so I sat and chatted to the missus for a change.
I was surprised to hear she no longer works for Woolworths.
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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 12, 2024 22:40:26 GMT
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Post by Bipolar on Nov 13, 2024 12:42:03 GMT
The police just left. They told me if I was going to walk
around the house naked I would have to do it inside.
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Post by andy on Nov 13, 2024 12:50:39 GMT
I went to see the doctor with a nasty rash on the top of my leg.
I told him, "The weird thing is when I squeeze the pus out of the pimples, I hear the latest tunes playing."
He said, "Oh you have a severe case of spotty thigh!"
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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 13, 2024 19:31:39 GMT
A bloke from Barnsley with piles asks the chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell @rse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
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Post by davem399 on Nov 13, 2024 21:04:25 GMT
At my age, I often wonder about the hereafter.
I walk into a room and think “what am I here after?”
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Post by Kath on Nov 14, 2024 12:33:51 GMT
No haricot beans in a tomato jus? Nah, canny deep fry them. Wanna bet? https://www.reddit.com/r/badfoodporn/comments/juea4x/what_do_you_guys_think_about_my_deep_fried_baked/ |
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Post by andy on Nov 14, 2024 14:01:03 GMT
Afternoon…….
If you are here for the yodeling lesson.
Please form an orderly, orderly, orderly queue.
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Post by lesleysm2 on Nov 15, 2024 2:00:40 GMT
Reminds me of Albert Einstein Apparently there was some big physicists conference and at the end of the evening there was a big formal dinner with Einstein as guest of honor and after the meal someone proposed the question to Einstein "Who would you most like as your dinner guest? Alive or dead?" Einstein thought about for whilst the rest of the physicists wondered who he would go for Newton perhaps? After a few minutes Einstein said "It would have to be Marilyn Monroe" And someone said "But she's not dead!" And Einstein replied "Yes and neither am I" |
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Post by John Farrell on Nov 15, 2024 6:01:09 GMT
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Post by willien on Nov 15, 2024 9:52:04 GMT
7 to 20 times a day? Amateurs.  |
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Post by andy on Nov 15, 2024 13:21:13 GMT
I wonder if the app has a button for had scotch eggs for lunch. Just as well I work outside! |
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Post by Bipolar on Nov 16, 2024 8:41:38 GMT
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Post by MJB on Nov 16, 2024 9:54:44 GMT
Obviously you don't have a dog as well  |
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Post by kate on Nov 16, 2024 17:12:30 GMT
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