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Post by mick on Sept 11, 2023 10:44:27 GMT
At 5am this morning, in between 'other duties' (see another thread), we watched a video feed of a wedding in Australia.
I was very surprised at how casual it all was. Dress code (except Bride and Groom - but even the groom wasn't wearing a tie) seemed to be 90% downmarket casual, with just a few exceptions. The Groom's parents, in from the UK, were noticeably over dressed in that company.
The outdoor venue (on the Gold Coast somewhere) was lovely and enhanced by the regular appearance of a Kookaburra.
All of the traditional ingredients were there even though some of the words were unfamiliar. It genuinely came over as a very joyous occasion.
I should add that the groom was the son of very close friends and a boy that we had living with us for short periods when he was a 'nipper'. Quite an emotional experience for us. We felt that we were just too old to survive a round trip to Oz!
Any other comments on different wedding cultures?
Mick
PS I should add that a peccadillo of mine is a loathing of tieless men at a formal occasion.
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Post by MJB on Sept 11, 2023 11:32:57 GMT
My cousin married an Indian girl and they had 2 weddings. One at the registry office and a week later a Hindu wedding. The Hindu ceremony was a joyous riot of colour.
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Post by mick on Sept 11, 2023 12:01:29 GMT
For brevity, I omitted some details from the first post. Your reply prompts me to add them.
The boy being married in Oz is the second son. The family originated in Sri Lanka (effectively driven out by the Tigers). The first son married an Indian girl in the UK and their ceremonies, one 'English' and the other Hindu, happened on the same day - and what a day. One of the happiest weddings I ever attended.
Apropos nothing in particular, my wife and I often reminisce about having tea in the "Ceylon Tea Centre", looking at the pictures on the wall and the information in the menu and wishing that we could visit. At the time, there seemed no chance. Little did we know that our finances would improve, we would become best mates with a Sri Lankan couple and we would visit many times. A dream that did come true.
Mick
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Post by kate on Sept 11, 2023 12:18:53 GMT
My cousin married an Indian girl and they had 2 weddings. One at the registry office and a week later a Hindu wedding. The Hindu ceremony was a joyous riot of colour. You beat me to it! I was going to say also that it was happy and easy time for all concerned in an open way and a mixture of ritual and general enjoyment. On a local note, I hate the apparent necessity for the man to wear a kilt and for traditional dances at a reception. PS Glad I got married in England. Ha! |
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Post by zou on Sept 11, 2023 12:22:15 GMT
I generally feel that judging other people by how they dress, especially on occasions in which they wish to have happy memories, is a massive red flag* about the one judging. To those people I say "it's not about you." *and not the good type  |
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Post by spinno on Sept 11, 2023 12:32:09 GMT
If the standard of dress is less than I expect, never mind, but having said that my pet peeve is concerning the female guests. Unfortunately some of the outfits worn leave very little to the imagination, and I respect their right to wear what they want, when they want and how they want, I feel that they haven't made the right choice if they're having to pull the outfit down because it shows their bottom or up because it's showing their bosom.
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Post by zou on Sept 11, 2023 12:33:27 GMT
If the standard of dress is less than I expect, never mind, but having said that my pet peeve is concerning the female guests. Unfortunately some of the outfits worn leave very little to the imagination, and I respect their right to wear what they want, when they want and how they want, I feel that they haven't made the right choice if they're having to pull the outfit down because it shows their bottom or up because it's showing their bosom. They might be doing that because they see you looking at them? |
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Post by mick on Sept 11, 2023 12:36:57 GMT
May I very respectfully suggest that you do two things.
First look up the meaning of "to judge someone".
Second re-read the thread and quote any words that fit the definition.
Mick
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Post by spinno on Sept 11, 2023 12:44:25 GMT
If the standard of dress is less than I expect, never mind, but having said that my pet peeve is concerning the female guests. Unfortunately some of the outfits worn leave very little to the imagination, and I respect their right to wear what they want, when they want and how they want, I feel that they haven't made the right choice if they're having to pull the outfit down because it shows their bottom or up because it's showing their bosom. They might be doing that because they see you looking at them? Unlikely, but it could be. On the other hand as Mrs S always says " why spoil the ship for a ha'porth of tar". |
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Post by mick on Sept 11, 2023 14:08:03 GMT
If the standard of dress is less than I expect, never mind, but having said that my pet peeve is concerning the female guests. Unfortunately some of the outfits worn leave very little to the imagination, and I respect their right to wear what they want, when they want and how they want, I feel that they haven't made the right choice if they're having to pull the outfit down because it shows their bottom or up because it's showing their bosom. They might be doing that because they see you looking at them? A few nights ago I was waiting for my D-in-Law to emerge from a pub in town where she had been at a wedding anniversary bash. First time I'd been in town at that time of night for a very long time. I was astounded, really stunned, at the brevity of some of the girls' outfits. I have volunteered to meet D-in-LAw again any time she wants.
Mick
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Post by steveandthedogs on Sept 11, 2023 14:25:59 GMT
I wanted to get married in my Morris kit, but was told to find a suit.
Still, we had three teams dancing outside the register office
S
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Post by dreampolice on Sept 11, 2023 15:12:42 GMT
My cousin married an Indian girl and they had 2 weddings. One at the registry office and a week later a Hindu wedding. The Hindu ceremony was a joyous riot of colour. I was best man for my friend who married a Seikh girl. They got married in a CofE church followed by a small celebration. She wore western clothes, her parents wore full traditional dress including the dagger for her dad. A few weeks later they had another wedding in a temple in Birmingham (The CofE wedding was to make it legal, but they didn't want a registry office one). At this wedding both the bride and groom wore full traditional dress (although the groom was white and not Seikh). I was best man for that one too! That was a great wedding, bangra music and curry, albeit in a nice hotel. I have also been to another Seikh wedding but the party afterwards was in an Indian community centre. That really was good. All of the food was made by the community. The room was filled with treacle tables, the men sitting in one half of the room, the women in the other. The centre table was set aside for us white folk, were the men sat on one side of the table and our wife's/girlfriends on the other, so at least we could sit with each other. Each table had bottle upon bottle of spirits on it (on the mens side anyway) Next year I am off to Detroit for my nieces wedding. Considering everything so far has been done for instagram (it seems) I have a feeling it will be a truly naff event! |
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Post by nickr on Sept 11, 2023 15:15:51 GMT
PS I should add that a peccadillo of mine is a loathing of tieless men at a formal occasion.
And you're perfectly entitled to your peccadillos. We all have them, and most of them are irrational. I've a different point of view, but I do respect yours. Personally, I take after my dad - I hate ties. He had to wear one from school throughout his working life*, and he hated it. "What sane person would tie a noose around his neck?" he used to ask. He wore a cravat or a bow tie wherever possible as about as much of a rebellions as he could make. *Until he closed the office of the family business and worked from home for a few years. When he died, he insisted that he would not be buried in a suit or tie - "Buggered if I'm spending eternity like that", and didn't want anyone who attended to wear a tie. The funeral director took some persuading - understandably so. I'm not so bad as he was, largely because I've scarcely had to wear a tie for the last 20 years or so. I will do if the occasion demands, but I'm always looking to take it off as soon as possible - it does make me feel very uncomfortable. We went to my cousin's wedding 4 years ago pretty much to the day. His dad - my dad's brother - was very like my dad. The wedding was in Spain, still at a hot time of the year, so no ties were required. Thank goodness. The ones since, I've worn a tie for the ceremony and the speeches and toasts, then removed it. |
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Post by dreampolice on Sept 11, 2023 15:19:46 GMT
Last wedding I went to, in July, they specified smart casual dress. Admittedly it was a second wedding for both of them and in a register office. It feels far more relaxing than having to wear suit and tie.
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Post by mick on Sept 11, 2023 16:00:56 GMT
PS I should add that a peccadillo of mine is a loathing of tieless men at a formal occasion.
And you're perfectly entitled to your peccadillos. We all have them, and most of them are irrational. I've a different point of view, but I do respect yours. Personally, I take after my dad - I hate ties. He had to wear one from school throughout his working life*, and he hated it. "What sane person would tie a noose around his neck?" he used to ask. He wore a cravat or a bow tie wherever possible as about as much of a rebellions as he could make. *Until he closed the office of the family business and worked from home for a few years. When he died, he insisted that he would not be buried in a suit or tie - "Buggered if I'm spending eternity like that", and didn't want anyone who attended to wear a tie. The funeral director took some persuading - understandably so. I'm not so bad as he was, largely because I've scarcely had to wear a tie for the last 20 years or so. I will do if the occasion demands, but I'm always looking to take it off as soon as possible - it does make me feel very uncomfortable. We went to my cousin's wedding 4 years ago pretty much to the day. His dad - my dad's brother - was very like my dad. The wedding was in Spain, still at a hot time of the year, so no ties were required. Thank goodness. The ones since, I've worn a tie for the ceremony and the speeches and toasts, then removed it. Thanks Nick. First thing to say, and I think that you understood, is that I could have expressed myself more clearly. It's not the man I loathe - it's the tieless.
Like you I think that it comes from my father. He always claimed to have a very ugly, scraggy, neck and thought that it was better covered with collar and tie. Then from age about 5 to about 18 it was a strict rule at school that ties would be worn. By then it was a strongly embedded habit, reinforced by working in a fairly 'stuffy' environment where going tieless would have definitely caused adverse comment.
Irrational? Very likely. Will I change? Probably not. Will I look down on those who disagree? Absolutely not.
To paraphrase one of the 'racist' defences. Some of my best friends don’t wear ties!! One in particular is a psychiatrist and he says that he has no desire for a patient to grab him by the tie.
Mick
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