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Post by nickr on Jul 13, 2023 11:19:17 GMT
I think they get progressively worse in terms of being offensive. None of them acceptable IMHO, but the first one has at least some wit about it, the second labours and fails to that end, and the third one is just vile. Had the book just had the first one, I might think it was just anachronistic (although I would say 1952, not 1982...). By the second, I would have taken a dislike to the author, and at the third, I would be wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine.
What would I do in your situation? If you're friendly with the wife, talk to her, otherwise just tell the truth, you didn't enjoy the book because of some of the views expressed about women - the third example being surely enough to explain why.
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Post by willien on Jul 13, 2023 11:53:52 GMT
Just a couple of thoughts.
As it was written by the husband of one iof the Bothy members shirley the author would not be expected to be (and should not be) present. Personally I would want make sure he would not be there.
Also you do not say if his wife is a member of the Bothy book club or not. If she is not then she should not be there either.
Members only.
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Post by andy on Jul 13, 2023 13:19:04 GMT
Let rip on it and ban the publisher from submitting any other books for review.
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Post by dreampolice on Jul 13, 2023 14:37:38 GMT
I must admit, if I was in your position, then i don't think I'd be that polite. Tell them exactly what you think (although that can be done in a polite way). You'll probably find that other book club members will agree and be happy that someone brought it up rather than them.
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Post by willien on Jul 13, 2023 15:48:57 GMT
Be interesting to hear what (any) male members of the book club have to say dontyerthink?
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Post by gezza on Jul 13, 2023 16:04:27 GMT
I don’t really think it’s a case of being polite but more of being considerate especially as it sounds as if Kath and the authors wife are part of a mental health wellbeing group.
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Post by kate on Jul 13, 2023 16:06:02 GMT
I don’t really think it’s a case of being polite but more of being considerate especially as it sounds as if Kath and the authors wife are part of a mental health wellbeing group. If it's the wife, I'm not surprised. |
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Post by kate on Jul 13, 2023 16:06:55 GMT
I don’t really think it’s a case of being polite but more of being considerate especially as it sounds as if Kath and the authors wife are part of a mental health wellbeing group. If it's the wife, I'm not surprised. Actually perhaps it's her cry for help? Who knows. |
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Post by Kath on Jul 13, 2023 16:16:52 GMT
Thank you all for your replies. I'm still in two minds as to how to approach this. The man's wife comes along to my photography group. She strikes me as quite shy but I don't know her all that well. I can't actually remember if she attends the book club - it's only on once a month and attendees vary depending on what book is under discussion. My gut feeling is that she doesn't usually go but she might this time.. We currently have one male attending. I suspect he'll be as appalled as I am. I do worry about the lady in question and so I think I will have a couple of different responses depending on whether she's there or not. Her husband hasn't attended before and I don't imagine he'll be there this time although he might come along expecting to be heaped with praise. If he's there on his own he might be heaped in something but probably not praise!
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Post by Kath on Jul 13, 2023 16:18:22 GMT
I don’t really think it’s a case of being polite but more of being considerate especially as it sounds as if Kath and the authors wife are part of a mental health wellbeing group. This, really. Some people at the Bothy are very open about whatever their reasons are for being members and others less so. I don't want to cause anyone to go away from Book Club feeling worse than when they arrived but equally I am not willing to let people think this kind of thing is okay when I really don't think it is. |
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Post by willien on Jul 13, 2023 16:28:46 GMT
"The attitudes to women expressed in some of the humour is very challenging to a 21st century audience, to such a degree that it really quite difficult to come up with an objective view of the work as a whole - particularly from a female perspective."
"are"
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Post by kate on Jul 13, 2023 16:58:10 GMT
Thank you all for your replies. I'm still in two minds as to how to approach this. The man's wife comes along to my photography group. She strikes me as quite shy but I don't know her all that well. I can't actually remember if she attends the book club - it's only on once a month and attendees vary depending on what book is under discussion. My gut feeling is that she doesn't usually go but she might this time.. We currently have one male attending. I suspect he'll be as appalled as I am. I do worry about the lady in question and so I think I will have a couple of different responses depending on whether she's there or not. Her husband hasn't attended before and I don't imagine he'll be there this time although he might come along expecting to be heaped with praise. If he's there on his own he might be heaped in something but probably not praise! Could be quite significant. She might be so downtrodden she daren't express her opinion. This could be an opportunity to show support for her and disdain for her husband. |
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Post by willien on Jul 13, 2023 17:04:19 GMT
Thank you all for your replies. I'm still in two minds as to how to approach this. The man's wife comes along to my photography group. She strikes me as quite shy but I don't know her all that well. I can't actually remember if she attends the book club - it's only on once a month and attendees vary depending on what book is under discussion. My gut feeling is that she doesn't usually go but she might this time.. We currently have one male attending. I suspect he'll be as appalled as I am. I do worry about the lady in question and so I think I will have a couple of different responses depending on whether she's there or not. Her husband hasn't attended before and I don't imagine he'll be there this time although he might come along expecting to be heaped with praise. If he's there on his own he might be heaped in something but probably not praise! Could be quite significant. She might be so downtrodden she daren't express her opinion. This could be an opportunity to show support for her and disdain for her husband. Could be an abused/battered wife if she has put that book up for "critique". I.e - it might be a cry for help/support. |
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Post by stevewmh on Jul 13, 2023 19:36:04 GMT
When and if the opportunity arises, a quiet chat with the lady (wife), why you found her husbands book uncomfortable reading might give you an insight of what's going on. Even if she outwardly appears to support her husband the signs not all is well might be evident. The direct approach to her husbands, despite more than deserved could put a vulnerable lady at risk...what goes on behind closed doors and all that
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Post by steveandthedogs on Jul 13, 2023 20:11:20 GMT
On reflection I'd be tempted to invite to come and explain to the group why he thinks his book is funny
S
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