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Post by petrochemist on Oct 28, 2024 18:54:59 GMT
Our main oven is actually very easy, but AFAIK the microwave needs the power turned off & resetting the time from scratch. Perhaps if I got an electronics degree there might be another way... |
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Post by dorsetmike on Oct 28, 2024 19:22:20 GMT
Someone I know caused trouble at witch school and ended up getting ex-spelled.
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Post by don on Oct 29, 2024 12:10:42 GMT
I excelled in being ex- spelled
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Post by dorsetmike on Oct 29, 2024 20:09:21 GMT
Found a new soap that keeps polite men away. It's a deter-gent.
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Post by zou on Oct 30, 2024 9:10:52 GMT
"I hate being half bicycle, half motorbike", he moped.
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Post by andy on Oct 30, 2024 11:51:16 GMT
Got some racing geese for sale, if you fancy a quick gander let me know...
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Post by willien on Oct 31, 2024 12:42:00 GMT
If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself talking to a Trump supporter ask them this.
If Mexicans are all rapists and drug dealers who want to come to america and take your job... what exactly do you do for a living?
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Post by andy on Oct 31, 2024 13:27:19 GMT
If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself talking to a Trump supporter ask them this. If Mexicans are all rapists and drug dealers who want to come to america and take your job... what exactly do you do for a living?  |
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Post by dorsetmike on Oct 31, 2024 19:37:49 GMT
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Post by dorsetmike on Oct 31, 2024 22:26:08 GMT
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Post by willien on Nov 1, 2024 12:29:27 GMT
Had to be first with this one!
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Post by gray1720 on Nov 1, 2024 12:57:21 GMT
Had to be first with this one!
Feck me, that makes Mike's look good! |
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Post by dorsetmike on Nov 1, 2024 13:07:22 GMT
Had this ear worm nonsense ditty, dom't see why should suffer alone:-
30 Days hath Septober
April June and no wonder
All the rest have egs for breakfast
Except for Grandma - she rides a bike
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Post by willien on Nov 1, 2024 14:13:48 GMT
Had to be first with this one!
Feck me, that makes Mike's look good! And Adrian's ear worm for the day is - "Shweet little girl called...".  |
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Post by andy on Nov 1, 2024 15:23:47 GMT
A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!!.
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