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Post by andy on Mar 22, 2023 21:14:50 GMT
With the job applications you can tell the 'only applying because the job centre made them do it' a mile off. Some are shocking, but every so often you get one from someone who really should know better which is just as bad. Highlights today... briefly describe how your knowledge, skills, and experience meet the job criteria: "you can trust me, I was in the army." "Spud goes for an interview" (Trainspotting), counts a a classic film scene. |
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Post by JohnY on Mar 22, 2023 21:24:11 GMT
With the job applications you can tell the 'only applying because the job centre made them do it' a mile off. Some are shocking, but every so often you get one from someone who really should know better which is just as bad. Highlights today... briefly describe how your knowledge, skills, and experience meet the job criteria: "you can trust me, I was in the army." "Spud goes for an interview" (Trainspotting), counts a a classic film scene. Bad grammar and spelling should be an advantage to those making a first cut. Just put the applications through a checker and auto generate rejections. Trusting someone from the army may be a better bet than trusting someone ex Met.
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Post by zou on Mar 22, 2023 21:29:17 GMT
"Spud goes for an interview" (Trainspotting), counts a a classic film scene. Bad grammar and spelling should be an advantage to those making a first cut. Just put the applications through a checker and auto generate rejections. Trusting someone from the army may be a better bet than trusting someone ex Met.
I won't trust any candidate who fails to make a basic effort to demonstrate their suitability. Can't be arsed to answer the question? I'll not be arsed to interview you. Fair exchange. |
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Post by MJB on Mar 22, 2023 21:31:21 GMT
Trusting someone from the army may be a better bet than trusting someone ex Met. [/div][/quote] Hell yeah. I mean you won't find racism and misogyny in the British army. (That was sarcasm btw). |
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Post by zou on Mar 22, 2023 21:32:41 GMT
Trusting someone from the army may be a better bet than trusting someone ex Met. [/div][/quote] Hell yeah. I mean you won't find racism and misogyny in the British army. (That was sarcasm btw).[/quote] No really, you won't. And that's an order. |
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Post by JohnY on Mar 22, 2023 21:46:45 GMT
[/div][/quote] Hell yeah. I mean you won't find racism and misogyny in the British army. (That was sarcasm btw).[/quote] No really, you won't. And that's an order. [/quote][/div]
Absolutely, sarcasm included. The services need loyal true Brits . To give 'em credit they do make a well publicised diversity effort, knowing that they will be shot down for it. Recruiting is a cynical business.
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Post by gray1720 on Mar 22, 2023 21:47:22 GMT
I've spent numerous hours this week sifting job applications. Some absolutely amazing examples of "that'll do, no need to pay heed to the red-underlined words in the cv" as well as general lack of attention/care in the applications. You'd be surprised (or possibly not) by the sack of shite I sent to the headhunter who got me my current job - they said "have you got a CV, a rough will do" so I sent in what I'd been staring at until my forehead bled (a shambolic and unfinished rough update), I sent with the words "For heaven's sake, let me know what you like and I'll write those up properly!" - and they said "It'll do nicely!" - and sent it! Must have worked.... and only one person spotted the 15-year gap in it (as I said when asked - for brevity). |
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Post by willien on Mar 22, 2023 21:58:05 GMT
I've spent numerous hours this week sifting job applications. Some absolutely amazing examples of "that'll do, no need to pay heed to the red-underlined words in the cv" as well as general lack of attention/care in the applications. You'd be surprised (or possibly not) by the sack of shite I sent to the headhunter who got me my current job - they said "have you got a CV, a rough will do" so I sent in what I'd been staring at until my forehead bled (a shambolic and unfinished rough update), I sent with the words "For heaven's sake, let me know what you like and I'll write those up properly!" - and they said "It'll do nicely!" - and sent it! Must have worked.... and only one person spotted the 15-year gap in it (as I said when asked - for brevity). Ahh for the days when "life" meant "life".  |
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Post by zou on Mar 22, 2023 22:25:11 GMT
I've spent numerous hours this week sifting job applications. Some absolutely amazing examples of "that'll do, no need to pay heed to the red-underlined words in the cv" as well as general lack of attention/care in the applications. You'd be surprised (or possibly not) by the sack of shite I sent to the headhunter who got me my current job - they said "have you got a CV, a rough will do" so I sent in what I'd been staring at until my forehead bled (a shambolic and unfinished rough update), I sent with the words "For heaven's sake, let me know what you like and I'll write those up properly!" - and they said "It'll do nicely!" - and sent it! Must have worked.... and only one person spotted the 15-year gap in it (as I said when asked - for brevity). Certain fields/roles probably value brevity and specificity more than others, so minimal padding and buzz words impresses more than oodles of bs. |
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Post by willien on Mar 22, 2023 22:31:54 GMT
You'd be surprised (or possibly not) by the sack of shite I sent to the headhunter who got me my current job - they said "have you got a CV, a rough will do" so I sent in what I'd been staring at until my forehead bled (a shambolic and unfinished rough update), I sent with the words "For heaven's sake, let me know what you like and I'll write those up properly!" - and they said "It'll do nicely!" - and sent it! Must have worked.... and only one person spotted the 15-year gap in it (as I said when asked - for brevity). Certain fields/roles probably value brevity and specificity more than others, so minimal padding and buzz words impresses more than oodles of bs. Moo. |
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Post by davem399 on Mar 22, 2023 23:25:46 GMT
You'd be surprised (or possibly not) by the sack of shite I sent to the headhunter who got me my current job - they said "have you got a CV, a rough will do" so I sent in what I'd been staring at until my forehead bled (a shambolic and unfinished rough update), I sent with the words "For heaven's sake, let me know what you like and I'll write those up properly!" - and they said "It'll do nicely!" - and sent it! Must have worked.... and only one person spotted the 15-year gap in it (as I said when asked - for brevity). Ahh for the days when "life" meant "life". We had the opposite to a gap when we were looking to employ a new supervisor at my old place of work before I retired. We had one applicant who had had a number of jobs and listed how many years he spent at each one. Knowing his date of birth, we totalled up his periods of work and it seemed that he left school when he was nine! |
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Post by willien on Mar 22, 2023 23:41:16 GMT
Ahh for the days when "life" meant "life". We had the opposite to a gap when we were looking to employ a new supervisor at my old place of work before I retired. We had one applicant who had had a number of jobs and listed how many years he spent at each one. Knowing his date of birth, we totalled up his periods of work and it seemed that he left school when he was nine! A lawyer has a heart attack and finds himself in the queue at the pearly gates. When he gets to the front he says to St. Peter "This is a total mistake, I am far to young to die. You have to send me back". St Peter says "I appreciate this has come as a shock but 97 is hardly far to young and you have had a pretty good innings". Lawyer says "What do you mean 97? I am only 32, you have to send me back". St. Peter says he will double check and goes to confer with a fellow angel. Moments later he is back and says "We not only double checked but we triple checked as well and, based on the hours you billed your clients you are definitely 97." "Not only that but you are in the wrong queue..."
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eightbittony
Full Member
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Posts: 111
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Post by eightbittony on Mar 22, 2023 23:48:06 GMT
Dare I ask what qualification they are studying for? Took me a while to decode guffment. Ha! Descriptive at least. Poor you. I couldn't do it. I'd be bald. Various. This week has been mainly Access students (so in fairness they've been out of education for some time or maybe didn't do so well in education the first time round), as well as social sciences and horticulture. Most of the students I support have some kind of learning difficulty or mental health issue and I do get that for a lot of them, dealing with that was more than enough so their school education suffered. I do also sometimes get spelling mistakes that make me laugh out loud. (The soldiers being mascara'd in WW1 probably shouldn't have made me laugh but it did.) Generally, I have a lot of patience for those who are trying and who work to overcome the obstacles they face. There are a minority who are only 'studying' for the bursary or the student loan they know they'll never have to pay back, and who take up an inordinate amount of time and resources with very little to show for it. I dislike laziness and cheating much more than someone being ignorant of the rules of English grammar. Underneath all my bluster about being unable to let rip is also an acknowledgement that some of my students are actually very vulnerable and I worry about them a lot. I can't talk about them anywhere external to work as it would not be appropriate but being the shoulder to cry on for a domestic abuse survivor or someone with PTSD is draining. I have to take my stress release where I can get it! It's important work, and despite knowing people have real struggles, it can still be very hard work. I certainly appreciate you doing it, everyone deserves a chance, and everyone deserves someone supporting them in their corner.
I have not done the role you're describing, but I've worked with people who wanted to try, and struggled because of issues outside of their immediate control, and suffered negative outcomes as a result, so I get it.
Also, being able to vent is so important. If you can't shed the frustration, your cup fills up and you can't perform the role.
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Post by Kath on Mar 23, 2023 8:46:12 GMT
Ever thought that some of these people simply should not be in any form of academia or at least be in a lower tier? Well I work for an entity that caters to everyone from school pupils to post-grads, and I'm currently supporting students from all levels. There are times when I find this part of my job rewarding, times when it makes me mad and times when I wonder what the point is because someone is so disadvantaged by their condition or life circumstances that there's very little chance they'll ever function in the workplace. They've been bullied at school, have little to no confidence, are not academically up to scratch and are probably not really even interested in the course they are studying. These are the ones whose parents have basically insisted they sign up to college to 'do something'. It's often the case that the parents are working all hours and don't want their child sitting at home watching YouTube videos all day even if they can't work. This is when I feel like a glorified babysitter! It seems to be horticulture students most of the time. I think folk think that it iwll be a very practical, outdoorsy type of course that their non-academic child can do but there's a lot of theory behind it, a lot of learning latin plant names and the like and they struggle. (I tell you what though, I know far more horticultural theory now than I'm ever going to need given I have no garden!) I'm not sure it's academia's fault that there's nothing for these people other than courses they don't really want to do. I am supporting at least one such person now. They are lovely and often want to talk to me about their knitting and cooking projects but can't concentrate long enough to write notes down for their theory class and don't care because it wasn't a course they chose for themselves. However, in last month's 'dry stone walling' class they excelled. That student will leave here with perhaps four or five credits of an 18 credit course. They won't have enough to progress to the next level and they won't have a group award qualification but they will have done *something*, and they probably didn't even expect that. I can only wish good things for them and hope that somehow, they find fulfilment in their lives. Opportunities for that, for a lot of our students are hard to come by. We are geographically spread out and have tiny campuses on islands as well as in fairly remote towns such as Campbeltown. (Not many academic timetablers have to take into consideration the ferry timetables for their students to get home from Oban to Tobermory!) Where I live is, if anything, even stranger. Helensburgh is in the catchment area for Glasgow so most school pupils will gravitate to colleges and universities in that direction. The most able ones do at any rate - or go even further afield. It means our base is those left behind and I think we have a higher than average, even for UHI, concentration of students with learning, social and physical issues. I'm a big advocate of FE colleges as a stepping stone to other things and I don't think these people should be denied those chances! |
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Post by Fenris on Mar 23, 2023 10:13:33 GMT
Various. This week has been mainly Access students (so in fairness they've been out of education for some time or maybe didn't do so well in education the first time round) I did an Access course when I started my BA in Photographic Art - I was 40 at the time, left school after doing my O levels at 15. For me it was about getting my head in the right place for learning. I'm slightly on the spectrum (ADD and a bit of OCD) as well as suffering from depression and anxiety at the time. But spelling mistakes like that... I couldn't hand in work like that! Surely these people have spell checkers on their computers? |
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