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Post by dreampolice on Jan 5, 2023 16:02:33 GMT
You could extend the original question to include "why do we go and watch the body disposed of?" AKA a funeral. I don’t know how how widespread it is but it is possible to have an unattended cremation either after a funeral service or without any form of commemoration. From my experience, the service is the point at which life restarts for the bereaved and sorting out of affairs begins. I think, for most people it matters that there is a “service”, what ever form it takes. The direct cremation is, I believe getting more popular, and is quite common in the US (so my sister and husband told me). I agree, that the funeral/memorial is the end but also the start of a new. After a death, as well as everything else that needs doing, you are also planning for the funeral which takes it out of you. After that, there seems to be a sense of relief (of one sort anyway). |
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Post by don on Jan 5, 2023 16:16:36 GMT
I'll be happy if a few folk grab some fish and chips to eat on the seafront in my memory! Now that’s my kind of remembrance. The tree 🌲 planting is also a. Great idea but fish and chips is a Top Trump in my book. As for queuing for hours and hours you can count me out. |
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Post by willien on Jan 5, 2023 16:37:37 GMT
The last funer I was at was a kirk service which was held immediately after a private (family only) interment.
Seemed to work
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Post by nickr on Jan 5, 2023 16:51:31 GMT
My dad's funeral was great. It was at a small originally Saxon church in their village. He was buried in his orange trousers and a Hawaiian shirt - "Buggered if I'm going to spend eternity in a suit and tie", and we were, as per his wishes, suitably colourful.
The organist went full Les Dawson, playing the wrong note just after we had stopped laughing from the previous one. We were in tears - of laughter. Dad would have absolutely loved it, just his sense of humour.
Afterwards, we partied until the not-so-early hours. Yes, he would have loved it.
No open casket or viewing of the body - we were all with him in hospital as he died.
As such things go, it couldn't have gone better.
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Post by MJB on Jan 5, 2023 17:27:47 GMT
You could extend the original question to include "why do we go and watch the body disposed of?" AKA a funeral. So you can meet the family and friends you haven't seen in years. That's what a wake is for. Why do we need to see the coffin go of to be cremated or stuck in the ground? |
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Post by kate on Jan 5, 2023 18:18:05 GMT
quote That's what a wake is for. Why do we need to see the coffin go of to be cremated or stuck in the ground? end quote MJB
It's the payment before the goodies.
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Post by geoffr on Jan 5, 2023 19:52:26 GMT
That's what a wake is for. Why do we need to see the coffin go of to be cremated or stuck in the ground? In some cultures it is considered respectful to help with covering the coffin, certainly at a Jewish funeral mourners will fill in the grave. It is more traditional than anything else in British culture. If you don't want that just tell your family and they will probably be very happy to oblige. |
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Post by steveandthedogs on Jan 5, 2023 20:44:19 GMT
I still want to be put on a platform on top of a very tall pole so I could get a good view.
Madam says no, I'd drip on people underneath.
Mind you, the buzzards would get a good meal.
S
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Post by gray1720 on Jan 5, 2023 21:59:03 GMT
I can think of a few people I'd go to see just to make sure that the twunt really was dead.
I saw Dad in the chapel of rest and, bizarrely, it was reassuring. He was appallingly thin - my first thought was "Effing hell, it's Ramesses II!" - but he'd been this little man in a hospital chair when I'd seen him last and laid out properly he was the right height again, he was Dad again. I'm not sure why, but I felt much better for seeing him like that. Then I had to have a chat with the mortuary attendant and say how good he looked laid out properly - the poor lad looked very taken aback and I had to explain that that's just what Dad would have done, he'd been a gravedigger and worked for a firm of builders and undertakers for donkey's years. Any time we went to a funeral, he had to go and inspect the 'ole, and chat with the 'digger, and I often followed him - done a couple myself (and in case he tripped and had to be helped up). So for him, of course, we had to make sure *his* grave was right, and make sure the gravedigger was left a beer. Hand dug, of course, for him, no machine - even with his arthritic hips, he wasn't going to use a digger. Pride in his job.
Yes, my family are bloody peculiar.
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Post by gray1720 on Jan 5, 2023 22:01:13 GMT
I still want to be put on a platform on top of a very tall pole so I could get a good view. Madam says no, I'd drip on people underneath. Mind you, the buzzards would get a good meal. S I've said to SWMBO many times "If I go in the hills, let the ravens have me!" - I've had enough enjoyment from them, I don't mind them having my remains as payback. |
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